


Idol

by MrSunshine



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3RACHA, Alternate Universe - Orphanage, Chan is called Chris 90 percent of the time, Idol Bang Chan, M/M, Meeting Years Later, Not Canon Compliant, Orphans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-05-18 11:52:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19333996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrSunshine/pseuds/MrSunshine
Summary: As kids Woojin and Chan promised to find each other again. 10 years later, Chan doesn't show up at their promised meeting spot, prompting Woojin to search for his old friend. He finds Chan, now a famous idol, and wonders if he should continue pursuing him or let him go.Prompt by@woogibearxon twitter /Jyayoon AO3





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jyayo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jyayo/gifts).



Woojin looked around the area when he arrived, searching for a familiar face he hadn’t seen for years. 

Ten years.

They had made a promise. To meet at the playground ten years from the day Woojin had left at six in the evening. 

Woojin knew he was a bit too early but after worrying the whole day he just couldn’t stay at home anymore. He had been awaiting this day since he came back to Seoul a few months ago, had always looked out for him in crowds and had never forgotten about their promise.

The promise they had made to each other when Woojin had been picked up by the family that had adopted him from the orphanage, that had welcomed him into their family as if he was their own child, that made everything possible for him. He had cried back then. Cried because he was happy that someone wanted and loved him, but also because he had to leave his best friend behind to move to his new life in Daejeon. 

He had found new friends quickly but he had never been able to forget him, had always looked forward to this day. And now he was here, the clock near him striking six.

He scanned the area again. It had changed. The playground wasn’t anymore and had been replaced with a small public green space and a coffee shop; the coffee shop he worked at part time while studying. He had to take the job when he saw them looking for help, this place holding too many fond memories for him to waste this chance.

Woojin felt himself grow more and more nervous as the minutes ticked by. How would their first meeting go after ten years? How would they react to each other? How much had they changed? Had he been adopted, too? Had he found a caring family? Or did he have to stay in the orphanage until he was legal and had to move out? Woojin hoped for the first. He had always been a gentle and sensitive child that never deserved to be in the orphanage. But then, no one did.

It was shortly after half past seven when someone stopped close to him and Woojin’s hopes shot up. Only to be destroyed a second later. It wasn’t him. He knew he’d recognize him in an instant. He watched the person walk away again and sighed.

And waited.

And when the sun started to set and the air got colder, Woojin knew.

Knew that Chris wasn’t coming. Not now, and maybe never again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! uwu
> 
> This Fanfic is obviously for Sher because she's the one who came up with the prompt! Please check out her twt and ao3, the links are in the description uwu
> 
> I hope you liked the beginning of this! Chan will of course make an appearance in the next chapter! :)
> 
> Let me know what you thought of it so far! I have already posted the Prologue a whil ago on my twitter but made a few little changes to it ♥
> 
> You can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/_sammyjw) and [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/sammyjw) if you have any questions!


	2. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm switching between calling Chan either Chris if it's from Woojin's POV or Chan if it's Chan's POV, just fyi :)  
> This change of POV will happen in the last part of this chapter

"Oh? I didn't expect you to come home so early. How did it go?"

Woojin looked up at his flatmate and best friend Minho when he entered the living room, throwing his backpack onto the small couch that immediately got inspected by their cats.

"He didn't show up…", Woojin answered, his voice laced with sadness.

"He did not…?" Shock was written all over Minho's face. "Why?"

"I don't know, Minnie… how should I? I've last seen him ten years ago, we haven't talked since then, sometimes sent letters but that's it. I don't know if he's still in Korea, I don't know if he still remembers me… I don't even know if he's still alive-..." The last words were barely a whisper, when tears started rolling down his cheeks, finally letting his emotions free.

He should've expected it, should've known. It had been a ten year old promise. Why should someone remember that? Wanting to meet someone that reminded them of a hard time in their life? 

"Do you want to know…?"

"What?"

"If he's still alive? I mean.. you can google his name right? Maybe it shows up…"

"I don't know…"

"What was his name again? Chris?"

"Bang Christopher. Why…?"

"Because I'm gonna look it up now and then you can decide if I should tell you. And also cause I'm curious."

Woojin sighed. He was unsure. Knowing Chris was dead would make him incredibly sad. Knowing he's still alive and didn't want to see him would make him equally sad. He couldn't win this one and he'd rather not know either option.

"Holy shit…" Minho stared at the screen in front of him, mouth slightly agape. 

"What?"

"Is this him?!" He turned the screen around and Woojin instantly recognised him. Recognised that smile, the soft but now matured features, the gentle eyes. Recognised him despite the bleached blond hair, the blue contact lenses, the edited photos and the face masks. 

This was him. 

And he was still alive.

"Chris…"

He went over to Minho, who was already reading out the wikipedia page aloud.

"Bang Christopher, also known as CB97 or Bang Chan, rapper and producer of the rap trio 3RACHA… born in Sydney… living in Seoul… orphanage after his parents died… fuck Woojin, this… this could be really him…"

Minho looked up, staring into the speechless and shocked face of his friend.

"It's him… this is really him…"

Woojin's heart sank. Chris was famous now. No wonder he couldn't meet him. Or didn't want to. 

He watched Minho scroll through the photo search, looking up various photos of him until a childhood photo popped up.

"Wait! This… this one…", he said, pointing at the photo that showed a young Chris and another boy sitting on a small wall in a park; the other boy being censored.

"That's… that's me.. I-..." Woojin got up and ran into his room, instantly going through a small box he kept hidden in his nightstand. 

He returned to the living room, having the same photo in his hands, showing it to Minho, letting him compare it. But there was no doubting now. 

"It's him… it's really him, Minho… and he’s unreachable…”

And still a smile was displayed on Woojin’s lips. Chris was alive and well. It made him happy to know that whatever had happened after he left, Chris had made it and seemed to be happy and doing what he loved. 

“Maybe he’s not that unreachable, Wooj… The fanclub applications are open and… you know fansigns and stuff…”

Woojin looked up, petting Dori that had jumped onto his lap.

“Minho… I can’t do that. He probably doesn’t even remember me anymore.”

“Are you sure? Or just speculating?”

The older sighed, shaking his head. “Speculating.”

“That’s what I’ve thought. Woojin… I know you’re burning to know, I know how much you want to see him. He’s all you’ve been talking about the past few months. I know how much you missed him. Please don’t let that chance go to waste. Even if he doesn’t remember you anymore… you give him a letter and the photo and at least talk a few words with him…”

He sighed again. Minho was probably right. He had missed Chris, had missed him a lot after his letters couldn’t reach him anymore, when the orphanage wasn’t allowed to give him the new address. He needed to talk to him one last time before letting the ghost of his past go, before letting Chris go for good and move on, forgetting the promise that kept him going all these years and that had made him study something he never wanted to.

And so he found himself signed up for the membership an hour later with Minho, with him trying to sign them up for a fanclub only fansign.

“Do you really think this’ll work…?”

“Nope. But I hope so. I’m going to make sure that you’ll meet him again and can talk to him.”

Little did Woojin know Minho would keep this promise. A week later he presented him with two slots for the fansign that they were going to in two days. And he started to panic. He had started listening to their music in preparation, actually finding himself liking it even though it wasn’t actually his type.

He was sitting at his desk in his room, crumpling another letter that wouldn’t do it, throwing it in the bin next to him. He wanted to see him but he never expected it to work. Right now he wasn’t sure if luck was in his favour or against him, staring at the crossed out lines in front of him. He didn’t know what to write, what to say to Chris that didn’t sound wrong or like a stalker.

In the end he just wrote out what he felt without thinking about it, sealing the envelope after he put the letter and photo inside before heading to bed. The fansign was tomorrow and he didn’t want to look dead when he stood in front of his old friend for the first time in years.

He wasn’t able to sleep for more than an hour though. His mind was running making out a million possible scenarios what could happen. Would Chris recognise him? Would he be happy? Would he be angry? Would he be escorted out? Would he even make it so far and be able to talk to him? What should he say if he didn’t know anymore who he was? What if he did?

His thoughts didn’t even calm down when they were finally in the venue, when they were seated in front of the small stage and when the three idols finally went stepped outside. Woojin’s breathing quickened and he’d probably would’ve run outside if Minho wasn’t holding his hand, calming him as much as he could.

Most of the fansign went over in a blur. Woojin knew he had been staring at Chris too much but it felt too unreal. This couldn’t be real. He was sure he would wake up in his bed in Daejeon as soon as it was his turn to talk to Chris next.

But he didn’t wake up and Chris was sitting in front of him, smiling at him with bright eyes.

“Hi! I haven’t seen you before. Is this your first time at one of our fansigns?”, Chris asked him, smile not leaving his face.

“Y-yes… it is…”, Woojin answered nervously, trying not to sound sad. Chris didn’t recognize him. 

“Ah, don’t be nervous, love. There’s always a first time for everything.”

“Yeah, you’re right…”, Woojin smiled a bit, before handing him the album to sign for him and the letter he had written the night before. He noticed him hesitating when he saw that the letter was not addressed to one of his stage names, but to Chris, watching him staring at the letter and the post it note with his name on it.

And he noticed the looks they were getting, noticed a man in a suit walking towards them, because nothing was happening anymore.

“Sir, you need to move forward, please.”, the man said, before worriedly looking at Chris who still hadn’t moved.

“Actually, you should probably leave.”, he added after seeing the state his idol was in. 

Woojin only nodded, already feeling a hand on his arm to escort him out of the venue, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. From all the things that could’ve happened he never expected it to be the worst one. 

“Woojin…”

The older turned around when he heard Chris say his name, seeing him finally looking at him, shock and recognition displayed on his face. It was the last thing he saw before he was made to leave.

He ran as soon as he was outside. He knew it had been a mistake. He should’ve let him be, should’ve never agreed to coming here and meeting him. He had ruined everything.

Chan finally woke up from his state of shock when he heard the door close and Woojin was gone. He shortly made eye contact with the young man next in line before he watched him run after Woojin, hearing him call his name before the door closed again.

He looked at his manager.

“Go after him! Now! Find him! Go!”, he tried not to scream at him but he was shaking and he was mad. Mad at his manager that he just threw him out and mad at himself that he hadn’t recognised Woojin earlier. He had noticed him in the crowd, felt that he looked familiar but hadn’t been able to put one and one together. Not until he was standing in front of him and he read his name, had seen the letter.

The letter. 

Chan turned around and grabbed it before the staff was able to put it away. It was addressed to him, not to CB97 and not to Chan, but to Chris.

And in this moment he didn’t care anymore. He ripped the envelope open and pulled out the sheets of paper and the photo. With every line he read more tears of regret streamed down his face. Ten years. Their promise. He had waited so long for this day, had always wanted to show Woojin how far he had made it without being adopted, what he had been able to reach with his own willpower. 

And he had missed it. 

He looked at his manager when he returned, shaking his head and informing him that the young man hadn’t been in the area anymore. He wanted to scream. Maybe this had been the only chance he had because now Woojin was gone. 

He looked back down at the photo in his hand, the photo of him and his Woojin, his best friend that he had missed the last ten years. He read over the letter again but before he was able to finish it he broke down crying, realising how much he had fucked up.

Dear Chris,  
I hope you're doing well. Well, of course you are. I was surprised to see you being an idol now. You’ve always liked music. It makes me happy to see that you can live it now.   
I don’t know if you still remember me. It’s been ten years since we last saw each other. Ten long years in which I couldn’t forget about you and the friendship we had. I was sad when my letters didn’t reach you anymore but the orphanage wasn’t allowed to tell me where you are.  
And so I’ve waited for the day to make our promise true.  
I was sad when you didn’t show up and I wanted to be mad at you. But I think I can understand now. You probably were busy or didn’t remember. Maybe you didn’t want to come. All of this is fine. I’m not mad. I was never able to be mad at you at the orphanage and I still can’t be mad at you.  
Do you still remember the small playground where we always went? I was surprised and sad to see that it is no more when I came back to Seoul to study last year. It held so many fond memories. Can you still remember the day when you fell down the swings and I carried you all the way back to the orphanage? It was the day we took the photo together. It shocked me a bit to find it online with me censored. Do you still have it? If not I put a duplicate in the envelope. It’s still the reason why I started liking photography. I would have loved to become a photographer. But now I’m studying business management to make my parents happy.  
They are great. My parents and brother only showed me love after they adopted me. I was able to do whatever I wanted, they always supported me and this is now the least I can do to repay them. I had a great childhood thanks to them.   
I hope you had that chance, too.  
This letter is getting too long, I’m sorry. I don’t even know if you’ve read this far. I would understand if not. Sometimes it’s better to leave the past behind and move on. I hope you will be happy wherever your path leads you.  
Love,  
your old friend Woojin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I oop, they met again and it didn't go well.  
> But if you've read my other fics you could've expected that cause I can't live without drama lmao
> 
> Also I know I should be working on Tomorrow, Today, but writing Idol felt so much easier the las few weeks OTL Though I hope I can update Tomorrow, Today by the end of the week :)
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter ♥ thank you so much for reading ♥
> 
> You can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/_sammyjw) and [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/sammyjw) if you have any questions!


	3. 2

Woojin skipped going to university the next day. He hadn’t been able to fall asleep at all. Not when he was still alone, tears never stopping and not when Minho had joined him to hold and comfort him for the rest of the night. 

He still couldn’t believe his own stupidity, how he could’ve thought that he could have a happy ending, that Chris would be happy to see him. Sighing he pulled the covers more over himself and buried his face in Soonie’s soft fur.

“Are you awake…?”, Minho asked softly, brushing through his hair.

Woojin only nodded. He didn’t want to hear his voice, knowing it would be hoarse from all the crying.

“I know you don’t want to hear this… but I’d rather tell you before you see it yourself… You’re all over the internet.. Well at least the fan side of it. Because of what happened yesterday… People are talking about it…”

The older sighed again. “Great… Good thing that I have decided to never leave the apartment again…”, he murmured. He wanted to die. It got worse by the second and knowing this just gave him the rest.

“Don’t be overdramatic… I think it’s a good thing…”

“A good thing?!”, Woojin finally looked up, “how is this a good thing, Minho? He had some kind of breakdown or whatever that was and… his fans probably rather see me dead or I don’t know… hurt me or something…”

Minho smiled a bit, looking at his friend, studying his tired features and proved it had been a sleepless and tearful night. 

“Some of them… others just want to know who you are… not only because you made him react to you like that but… because he’s looking for you…”, he answered, handing him his phone with a statement from the group but also with the plea from Chris that if anyone knows about Woojin they should let them know.

Woojin lay back down, sighing for the millionth time in the last 24 hours. 

“I don’t want him to look for me… it’s not good for him…”

“Why…?”

“Just look at me… I’m not good for him. Compared to him I’m nothing. I’m a broke university student, living from paycheck to paycheck. People will think I’m only wanting to get near to him because of money. He might even think that… and even if not I will just ruin his reputation when we get close. And in the end I will have to leave him again and… I can’t do that a second time… so… I just… I give up on it. He’s better off without me and I hope he’ll forget me soon…”

“You’re not bad for him, Woojin…”, Minho was looking at him with sad eyes. “Everyone would be glad to have a friend like you, to have someone by his side that is only half as genuine, gentle and kind as you… but if that’s really what you want… and if you’re sure about it… I won’t ever mention it again… give up on him… but don’t give up on yourself, okay?”

Woojin nodded and let himself being pulled closer when tears started to fall again, silently weeping into Minho’s shoulder, letting it all out, promising himself that it would be the last time that he cried over Chris. Because Minho was right, he couldn’t give up on himself.

Little did he know that his old friend from years ago had other plans.

It was a week later when Woojin and Minho had the closing shift at the little coffee shop. While Minho was still tending the front Woojin stayed in the back, doing the dishes and enjoying the calm after the busy day. He felt better. They still had long talks about what had happened at the fansign and how Woojin felt with the whole situation, but with each day he was sure he had made the right decision. Chris’ and his lives were too different to function, they hadn’t met for ten years and these few minutes they had had been a catastrophe. It was for the best to continue like this and even though it still hurt him he was fine with this decision.

He sighed when he heard the bell ring, announcing a customer. It was past nine in the evening and they rarely had customers at this time. Which is why he never understood why they were open until ten. 

Minho looked up from the book he was reading under the counter, hiding it from the customer but also growing a bit nervous. The man in front of him was all dressed in black, face hidden by a face mask, cap and sunglasses and Minho was sure they were getting robbed any second. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Hello and welcome. What can I get you?”, he asked, trying to mask his nervousness with a smile. Which instantly faltered when the man removed the glasses and face mask.

“Holy shit…” Minho’s voice was barely louder than a whisper, shock probably written all over his face from the way Chris was smiling at him. 

“Hi… I saw that you were still open and… actually I wanted to ask if you’ve ever seen Woojin around here but… you’re the guy that was with him right? Last week at the fansign?”

Minho could only nod and before he could say anything Chris spoke again.

“Can you tell me where he is? I’ve been looking for him and… even my manager and Changbin and Jisung were looking out for him on the streets… I need to talk to him. And I don’t know where to find him. That’s why I came here cause… this has been our place when it was still a playground… Please help me…”

Minho watched him grow more desperate with every word he said, heard the distress in his voice. He wanted to tell him that he couldn’t help him, that Woojin didn’t want to meet him anymore. But seeing the other man like this in front of him, seeing all his sorrow and pain displayed on his face, he decided he had to break one more promise someone had given Woojin.

“Wait a second…”, he said before hurrying into the back.

“Woojin? Can you come to the front for a second, please? There’s someone waiting for you…”

Woojin looked up and nodded, following him to the front. In this moment Minho was glad that he trusted him so blindly, otherwise he would’ve never agreed. If he was being honest he felt bad, bad for seeing the shock on Woojin’s face when he recognised the man waiting for him, and bad for betraying him like this, knowing that his best friend wanted nothing more than to run from this situation.

“Woojin…”, Chris whispered as if he couldn’t believe that the other was really standing in front of him. “It’s really you… I found you…”

Before Woojin could react he felt himself being pulled into a tight embrace, pressed flat against Chris’ trembling body, who was trying his best to stifle his sobs. And in the same moment it finally broke out of Woojin too, hugging the idol back and holding onto him, silently crying into his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry that I didn’t show up, Woojin! I haven’t forgotten but… we weren’t in Seoul that evening because of promotions and I know it’s no excuse but I haven’t forgotten about you! I could never! I was looking forward to this day so much and it broke my heart to know I couldn’t keep the promise. I had hoped that I would see you again or that I could find you anyways and when you were standing in front of me at the fansign I just shut down because I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it was you and that it was real-... I’m so sorry-... believe me-... please…”, Chris rambled, not caring that they weren’t alone and that Minho was witnessing everything even though he tried to give them as much space as possible. 

“Why did you come-..? Why did you keep looking for me-...?”

“Because I missed you! And because I needed to talk to you before… before we leave for our world tour next week… I can’t lose you again…”

Before Woojin could reply Minho interrupted them, obviously being slightly uncomfortable.

“Uhm… I’m sorry, I don’t want to ruin that moment but… we need to close soon and… don’t get me wrong I want both of you to talk this out so.. how about we finish our shifts and then we go to our place where you can talk in peace and I can hide in my bedroom and not interrupt you and yeah… have to listen to this private moment even though I’m expecting Woojin to tell me everything later… How does that sound…?”

Woojin wanted to refuse, they couldn’t possibly invite Chris to their small apartment. But the younger was already accepting the offer, thanking Minho for it.

And so they followed this plan. Chris let his two best friends know where he was, making them promise not to tell their manager because he knew he would only call him irresponsible for following practically two strangers home. But when it was about Woojin there were no responsibilities for him. He’d walk to the end of the world for him.

He looked around the small apartment, looking at things that gave away what Woojin’s life had been like in the last ten years while he waited for him to finish showering. Ultimately he sat down on the couch, gently petting the cat that was sniffing at him curiously.

“Hello, little one…”

Woojin smiled at the scene in front of him after leaving the bathroom, still not entirely believing that Chris was really here, sitting on the couch in his living room.

“That’s Dori… she’s the youngest of our cats. Doongie is probably in Minho’s bedroom with him. She’s not that fond of strangers and Soonie might come out sooner or later, too….”, he explained before heading towards the kitchen. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Just water, thank you…”, Chris answered, still petting Dori who was now curled up in his lap, purring softly.

Woojin put down the water on the table and sat down next to him. It was awkward at first, none of them really knowing what to say. But after a few minutes of silence the walls finally broke down and they started talking, talking about themselves and how the last ten years had been for them. Woojin learned that while he had been fortunate to be adopted this late and had lived a normal childhood and teenage years after that, Chris had taken another path. He had gotten scouted for the company he was currently under contract and left the orphanage a year later at thirteen to pursue a career in the music industry as an idol.

“I had to train a long time until I was finally able to debut with Changbin and Jisung… but it was worth it and I’d do it again. The only thing I regret is that I wasn’t able to write letters to you anymore… but I have never forgotten about you and the promise we made.”, Chris explained to him, a small smile on his lips. “When I realised I couldn’t make it I was heartbroken and started looking for ways to find you. But of course the orphanage wasn’t allowed to give me any information on you and I kind of hoped that you had forgotten about it because… I didn’t want to imagine you waiting for me… but you did… I’m sorry Woojin… in hindsight I should’ve just sent someone but… I didn’t think of that…”

The older listened to him intently, imagining how hard it must’ve been to leave the orphanage on his own at such a young age.

“I’m proud of you, Chris… that you had the courage to leave a safe home to become a trainee… and that you made it. That you’re an idol now who’s going to have a world tour… that’s amazing…”

Chris smiled at him. "Thank you… it wasn't easy but… I'd do it again…"

They grew silent for a moment before Chris spoke up again. "Why did you not study photography? It didn't sound like you're enjoying studying business management in your letter…"

"I… don't, actually. It's okay and I'm not doing bad but… it's obviously not really what I wanted to do…"

Chris chuckled, a soft smile on his lips. "I figured. But why are you continuing? Why not change your major?"

"Because I want to make my parents proud. They gave me so much and I don't want to disappoint them. I can get a good job after my studies and don't have to worry if I will be able to pay my rent or whatever. I don't have to worry about money like I might have to do as a freelance photographer… and to be honest my photos aren't that good and I still have to learn a lot about editing. It's better to keep it as a hobby.", Woojin answered but he knew he was lying to himself. His photos weren't as bad as he described them and he knew that if he might put a bit more effort into his Instagram account he could actually have a big following and make a name of himself. But that was exactly what he was afraid of. Afraid of becoming successful and disappointing his parents with his decision. He couldn't do it.

"Can I see your photos?"

Woojin hesitated. Did he want Chris to see his work? He already knew what he was doing. Showing him that pursuing his dream, his actual dream, wasn't wrong, that his parents wouldn't be disappointed in him and that he should give it a second thought.

He sighed. "Don't laugh okay…?", he mumbled, pulling out his phone and opening Instagram. He quickly switched from his private account to his photography site and handed his phone to his friend.

Chan looked at the photos. He knew Woojin had lied to him, had played down his own skills because what he saw was amazing. More than that. It was art.

Carefully he looked through the photos, looking at some of them longer than at others, looking at the compositions and how he played with the colours. It was amazing, and he made Woojin blush by voicing that thought.

"We still need a tour photographer."

"What?!"

"I said we still need a tour photographer, Woojin."

"I understood that but you… you can't possibly ask me to do that.'

"That's exactly what I'm asking you."

Woojin stared at him in shock and disbelief.

"Me? I'm… I'm no one and I'm sure there are a lot more professional photographers who are willing to do that job."

Chris chuckled and Woojin watched him typing away on his own phone.

"I'm sure there are. And I can't decide that on my own. That's why I sent the link to your profile to Changbin and Jisung and they're thrilled."

"You did what…? Chris…", Woojin sighed, "I can't do that. I have my obligations here, the job at the cafe and I need to pay my half of the rent and go to university… I can't just hop on a plane and start touring with you for I don't know how long…"

"Three months. Starting next week in here in Seoul"

"Three months… Jesus Christ…", Woojin buried his face in his hands, sighing again. 

Chris' offer was more than tempting. To get out of his daily rhythm of doing something he didn't like. He could do what he loved. Taking photos the whole day, editing them and travel the world.

But he would need to leave Minho behind with all the expenses, leaving aside that he somehow had to pay for the travel and hotel rooms and that he had to earn money in that time to keep paying the rent here. He didn't have enough savings in his bank account for that.

And even if he had all that money he couldn't disappoint his parents. And he couldn't harm the group because he was sure the media would find out about him soon enough.

"Stop thinking Woojin. I know what you're thinking about. Don't worry about the money. We're going to pay you and we'll pay for flights and hotel rooms, that's non-debatable. And I'll pay for your rent here so Minho doesn't have to worry about that. Please think about it."

Woojin looked down at his hands. Of course Chris had already a solution for that. He had always been like this. Always knowing how to solve problems. But this time he couldn't solve them all.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Chris… even if I my parents agree on that and even if everything works out. I don't want to damage your reputation or worse… have your fans boycott you or whatever… they already hate me for what happened at the fan sign…"

"Why would they hate you? I can issue a statement for that and explain everything.", Chris smiled at him reassuringly, "they will understand. I have mentioned my past from time to time and I'm sure they will be nothing but happy. And there's nothing that you could do to damage anything. Don't worry about that…"

"Chris…", Woojin sighed again. He hadn't planned on coming out to him like that, didn't know what he thought about it and if he would accept him. And there were only two outcomes for this. Either it was fine or Chris was going to leave in a minute.

"Chris… I'm gay. And you know it's not widely accepted here yet. I don't want you to get in trouble…"

Woojin was prepared for the worst. But instead of getting up and leaving the apartment, Chris chuckled. Just chuckled.

"Ah… right… you haven't listened to our music for long, right…?"

The older shook his head and a minute later he had Chris phone with an open news article about 3Racha in his hands.

"Read it."

He did. And gasped audibly, wondering how he had managed to never hear of them when he had been out for a while, even being an avid part of Seoul's gay community and nightlife.

They were known for being supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, even taking part in pride events and donating money to various charities in support of the community. They spoke out regularly against homophobia and denounced conversion therapy and the military laws against gay men. 

And apparently none of them were straight either. 

Woojin couldn't believe it.

"So... you-..."

Chris nodded, still smiling at him. "Yes. So please don't worry about that. You're safe and in good hands with us."

Two days later Chan finally got the text that he had been waiting for. Woojin's parents supported his decision, having him worry for nothing, and he'd join them on their tour.

He instantly sat down on his laptop, contacting the air lines and hotels to book another seat and room for Woojin.

And with each confirmation email he got back he grew more nervous and giddier. He couldn't believe it. Not only did he have Woojin back in his life after such a long time, but he was going to spend the next three months with him. With the boy he had fallen for ten years ago and that he was still in love with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what to say to this lol  
> sorry for basically vanishing for all of my fics atm but real life is ugh
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter! :) Next one will be the last already tho!
> 
> You can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/_sammyjw) and [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/sammyjw) if you have any questions!


	4. 3

When Woojin had agreed to joining them on their world tour he knew it would be an amazing time. However he hadn't expected it to be the time of his life, and the time his whole life would change.

As soon as 3RACHA announced him to be the official tour photographer his Instagram page took off. He had never expected to gain this many followers, had never actually cared about it if he was being honest, but he could get used to his work being appreciated like this. His dream was coming true.

"How is it?", Minho asked over the phone, having agreed to a video call only a few minutes earlier.

"It's amazing… everyone is so nice to me and helps me out if there's a problem or if I need anything… I even got my own hotel room!", Woojin replied honestly, showing Minho around the room. 

"I just can't believe how fast the time flies. I've been gone for a month already and the Asian leg of the tour is over now. We're leaving for Australia tomorrow and then we go to the US."

"Australia? Woah… that sounds amazing. Do you have some free time there?"

"Yes. You know Chris was born there so he wanted to stay as long as it was possible. We're staying in Sydney longer than in other cities…"

Minho nodded. He remembered Woojin telling him about it. It was understandable that Chris wanted to see the city he was born in.

"And everyone is still treating you nicely?", the younger eventually asked.

"Yes… everyone knows that this is the first time I'm doing something like this and like I said they help me out a lot. And Chris' friends are amazing. Changbin and Jisung have been treating me like a friend since the beginning… but it's still weird to be this close to idols…"

He would probably never get used to it, always recalling in his mind that these weren't just some friends he was accompanying but actual idols.

"Yeah I can understand…", Minho chuckled, "but people are talking about you, too, you know? The cute photographer slash Chan's childhood best friend… and people are rooting for you~ the perfect romance."

Woojin blushed. It wasn't the first time that Minho had told him about it. He had sent him tweets about him, and he's read about the "perfect romance" more than once.

"I'm sure he doesn't like me this way, Minnie…" A sad smile spread across Woojin's face. Why would Chris like him? Him from all people, someone he hasn't seen in ten years. He couldn't be as helpless as Woojin, keeping a crush for this long even after dating other boys. And even if he did he most certainly had a dating ban written in his contract.

"Never say never, Wooj… the tour is still going on for a while and you never know what's going to happen…"

"We'll see… but the chances are non-existent so…", he shrugged. Why should he hope when there was nothing to hope for anyways?

He talked to Minho for another few minutes before calling it a day. He was tired and they had to get up early tomorrow to get their flight to Sydney. 

Stepping out of the plane a few hours later he sent a quick text to his parents and Minho that they had arrived safely as he always did, before looking at Chris.

"You look nervous…", he said to his friend, barely holding back the urge to grab his hand to comfort him. 

"I am… I've never been back here ever since we moved to Seoul… and I'm sure I won't recognize anything here anymore…", Chris answered, smiling apologetically.

"You'll be fine… and even if you don't remember anything, you came back and you can experience the city. That's what counts…"

An now honest and happier smile spread across Chris' face. "You're right. Thank you, Woojin…", he said, while putting an arm around him to pull him into a half-hug. Woojin heard the cameras click, hadn't noticed that they were already in the hall with fans and fansites waiting for them. He could already see the new tweets about them, knowing that Minho would provide them as soon as possible. He blushed a faint red, hoping that now one would pick it up.

“Are we heading to the venue today already?”, Woojin asked trying to focus his mind on something else instead of the arm around his shoulder.

“No, not before tomorrow. We’re going to check into the hotel and then we got the day off~”, Changbin answered, grinning from ear to ear.

This sounded like music to Woojin’s ears. Having the rest of the day off meant he could go through his photos in peace, edit a bit and maybe take a long nap. He wasn’t used to this lifestyle and he needed this break for himself. 

However, his plans were immediately thrown over board when Chris asked him to accompany him on his trip to the city after the check-in. He grabbed his camera and a spare memory card, hoping to get some great motifs for his portfolio. 

“Where do you want to go?”

“I went through my documents at home and… I don’t know how but I found an old address that seems to be where I used to live. I just want to go there an look at the house real quick. I won’t remember anything anyways but I still want to go there…”

“Maybe you will. The brain is capable of so much and who knows. And even if not. You’ve seen your childhood home again.”

In the end Chris was right. He didn’t remember anything about this house and of the area they were in and Woojin felt sorry for him, had hoped he would at least remember a little thing. He looked at the photo he had just taken, looked at Chris’ sad smile, his gaze fixed on the white house in front of him.

“It’s okay, Chris… you’ve been here and that’s what counts…”, Woojin whispered while taking his hand in comfort, gently brushing over the back of it with his thumb. 

“I just hoped that I something would come back. I know it’s nearly impossible. We left Australia when I was three but… I just had hoped for at least one memory… only one…”; Chris sighed and shook his head, “Have you ever wished for remembering your real parents? Just anything?”

Woojin smiled at him sadly, remembering that they had never really talked about why he had been in the orphanage.

“I haven’t because there is not single memory. I don’t know who my parents are.”, he answered truthfully, waiting for Chris to walk back with him into the direction they came from.

“You don’t?”

“No… I was given up for adoption directly after birth. You remember the baby hatch? That’s where they found me in the middle of the night. They said I was about a week old at this point and never found out who my mother was even though they had my birth certificate and a letter that said that my birth mother couldn’t keep me. That’s also why the orphanage workers grew so attached to me back then because they had raised me until I was adopted…”, Woojin explained calmly.

“Did you never want to find out? Go look for her?”

“No. I’m sure she had her reasons why she couldn’t keep me. And I don’t want to find these out.” And most importantly he didn’t want to find out if she had a new family with children she had kept, children that didn’t have to grow up in an orphanage. He didn’t want to crush a maybe functioning family with ghosts from the past. It was okay how it was.

Chris was still looking at him and Woojin didn’t know how to read his expression. Sadness? Understanding? Regret?

“I’m sorry… I didn’t want to open old wounds…” Regret. Woojin chuckled.

“It’s okay. I never told you right? You couldn’t have known and I’m fine with it. So please don’t worry. It doesn’t hurt anymore”, he said honestly, smiling softly at his friend and still holding his hand. He never wanted to let go again.

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly. Woojin followed Chris to wherever the younger wanted to go, took photos of him, of the area and sight seeing spots, even let himself get talked into a selfie that Chris wanted to post later with some of his photos, until they met up with Changbin and Jisung for an uneventful dinner. 

By the end of that and after some editing, Woojin was tired and wanted nothing more than to shower and go to bed. He managed to do the first part but was stopped by a knock on his door. He groaned and thought about being rude to the uninvited guest until he opened the door and Chris was standing in front of him. 

“Chris? Is everything alright?”

“Sorry to barge in so late… but I can’t sleep and I don’t know… I saw you were still online and thought I might come over and… sorry that was a dumb idea…”, the younger mumbled, already ready to turn around and head back to his room.

“No.. come in, it’s fine…”

Woojin closed the door behind him, making some room on the bed for both of them to sit down.

“You can’t sleep? Because of earlier today?”

“Probably… and also because of my insomnia… I just can’t fall asleep even though I’m dead tired…”

Woojin smiled slightly. He was tired himself but he didn’t want to just leave him like that.

“Do you want to talk? Or watch a movie or drama?”, he eventually asked, settling in next to Chris, leaning his back against the headboard.

“Are you sure? You must be tired, too…”

“It’s fine, Chris. Really.”

Woojin grabbed the remote control and turned on the TV, skipping through the channels until they eventually found a movie they both wanted to watch. He didn’t think much of it when he felt Chris weight on him about halfway in, smiling at the sleeping man next to him and let him sleep. It quickly changed as soon as the movie was over though. He didn’t want to wake him up, didn’t want to risk that he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again.

So he did what he’d often done when they were still kids. Carefully, he put Chris down on the bed, pulling the sheets higher over him before grabbing the spare ones from the closet. After turning off the TV and lights he laid down next to him, watching his relaxed features that were illuminated by the moonlight from outside. He was nervous but he wanted to use the one chance he had to be as close as possible to him.

“Good night, Chris…”, Woojin whispered silently and closed his eyes following him into the dream land shortly after.

What he didn’t expect when he woke up was the gentle embrace he found himself in, strong arms wrapped around him from behind, holding him close, pressed flush against Chris’ chest. Chris always had been cuddly, and Woojin had never minded when they were kids, but now it was a bit different. He blushed slightly, even more when he felt him stir behind him, slowly waking up as well.

“Hm…? Oh God… Did I fall asleep here? I’m sorry Woojin… you should’ve woken me up…”, Chris mumbled sleepily, but instead of letting him go just buried his head deeper into his shoulder.

“It’s fine… I didn’t want to wake you again after you had finally fallen asleep…”, Woojin eventually answered after the first seconds of shock were over. 

“Thanks…”, Chris whispered, smiling against the older’s skin, “I think I haven’t slept this well in a long time…”

Woojin didn’t know what had come over him when he told Chris that he was always welcome to come over if he couldn’t fall asleep. Because he did. So much that when they were in the middle of the American leg of the tour they decided on just sharing a room entirely, sleeping in the same bed, sometimes talking through the nights but ultimately spending every single second with each other. 

He would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it. Even though deep inside it made him sad. Sad to know that it would stop after the tour, that he would never be as close to Chris again when they were back in Seoul, that he would never fall asleep and wake up in his arms ever again.

“Come on, Wooj… it’s already a big step forward that you’re sharing a room… maybe he feels the same.”, Minho said over the phone, trying to comfort his best friend, wishing he could stop the tears he saw through the video.

“Why would he? For him this is just a way to sleep better…”

“Don’t you think he would’ve gone to either Changbin or Jisung if that was the case? He didn’t. He wants to be with you and you have to stop thinking about yourself not being worth it, not worth his presence or… or love. You don’t know if he has a dating ban in his contract. And if he doesn’t, the only person he should be with is you. Because you deserve it, Woojin. Because you’ve waited so long and gave up so much for him. I know you’ve never stopped loving him. So please, don’t ruin this because your head tells you you’re not worth it. You are and he’d be an idiot if he’d let you go.”

Woojin wanted to object, wanted to tell Minho that Chris deserved someone better than him, someone in his league, when he finally realised. The water from the shower wasn’t running anymore, it hadn’t for a while now and he had left the balcony door open, never thinking that his video call with Minho would turn this serious in a matter of seconds.

“Woojin…? Is.. is that true…? Chris’ voice was barely louder than a whisper, and Woojin wouldn’t have heard it if he hadn’t been so focused on his surroundings. He looked at his phone for help but Minho had already disconnected the call, leaving him to deal with this situation alone.

“I… I’m sorry, Chris...”

“Why are you sorry…?”

“I shouldn’t have agreed on sharing the room with you… I don’t want to make you uncomfortable…”

Woojin was still looking at his phone, shaking slightly. He never wanted him to find out like that, never wanted him to find out at all. He just had gotten him back in his life and now he was deadly afraid of losing him again.

Chris sat down next to him with a soft smile playing around the corners of his mouth. He brushed through Woojin’s hair until he finally looked up, meeting his eyes.

“You don’t have to be sorry… not for that…”, the younger whispered softly, his hand stilling on Woojin’s cheek, caressing it gently. Woojin leaned into his touch, growing slightly more nervous from having him this close. But before he could do anything, before he could react, he felt Chris soft lips on his and he finally felt like he was able to breath again. 

“I’ve never forgotten about you, Woojin… never…”, Chris whispered against his lips, “You were my first great love… and you still are... “

“And so are you… I love you, Chris…”

“I love you, too…”

Woojin leaned in once more, closing the short distance between them, and kissed him again. He couldn’t believe it, had waited so long for this moment and now it was finally real. He never wanted it to stop. 

“Are you sure about this…?”, Chris asked after they went back inside, shutting out the noise from L.A’s night life below them. 

“What do you mean?”

“This relationship… you know… you’d be in the public eye whenever you’re with me and probably without me too… I don’t want to put you through this if you don’t want to… it’s not gonna be as quiet as this…”

Woojin smiled softly, putting his arms around his now boyfriend and cuddled closer.

“I’m aware of this, Chris… but I don’t care. If that’s the price I have to pay for being with you… for finally being with you and not losing you anymore… then I’m more than willing to pay it… I know it’s going to be hard for me in the beginning… and that I need time to get used to it… especially if you want to make it public but I’m not going to back off just because of that. I love you… more than anything…”

Had he known how hard the first few weeks would be, he would’ve asked Chris to wait making their relationship public. He didn’t mind that everyone knew, and most of Chris’ and 3RACHA’s fans were happy for them, had sent them nothing but encouraging and happy words. But there were also people that were the complete opposite. That sent him hate and told him that he didn’t deserve Chris, that he was only with him to gain popularity and for money. 

Woojin sighed when he read one of these messages in his DMs again. It hurt every time. And every time he wanted to put his account on private but he knew he couldn’t do that. So in the end he did what he always did. Deleting the message and closing the app.

“Are you alright?”, Chris asked him, hugging him from behind and looking over the night sky of Paris. 

“Yeah… don’t worry. Just got accused again that I’m only with you for your money and that stuff…”

Chris sighed heavily. “I’m sorry… please ignore these people… just block them if you need to…”

“Blocking them will only fuel their hatred more and I’m not gonna do that. I’ll just ignore it… and it’s not your fault, love… most of your fans are supportive of us and they are the only ones that count…”

Chris nodded and pressed him closer, still holding him in his arms gently. They had only been together for a little more than a month but Woojin already knew, that he never wanted to miss this feeling again, never wanted to miss Chris’ arms around him anymore. 

Because with him he didn't care what others thought of him, he didn't care where he came from and where he would go.

Because for the first time in his life he finally felt like he was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done uwu I hope you liked the chapter and the fanfic in general!
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing it and I needed it. Now I can finally focus on Tomorrow, Today a lot more uwu
> 
> A big thank you to everyone who read it, left kudos and comments! ♥
> 
> You can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/_sammyjw) and [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/sammyjw) if you have any questions!


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